Thursday, November 8, 2012

Baby #2

Oh hey look! I'm pregnant!
Here we go again!
So the Malkiewicz's are having another little pumpkin. Tonight I took a pregnancy test. And HELLO mister two lines. My period is pretty regular. I never go longer than 30 days before another cycle (tmi?) so today I was three days late and I just knew. Sure enough, I was right.
As of right this moment my ONLY symptom of pregnancy is constant pee'ing (tmi again?) but if you know me you know that that is common even when I'm not pregnant. And let's just pray it stays like this... No seriously pray for me because my last pregnancy was a BEAST! Everything that could possibly go wrong in a pregnancy, did.
I started off pregnancy with some serious strep throat. I was dog sick. Once that healed up it was severe morning sickness... All day long. Who ever decided to name that "morning sickness" anyways? It so doesn't just come in the morning! I literally threw up all day long for 10 months. Around week 21 my stomach started itching like a beast. I just assumed it was from it growing so I tried not to scratch because I didn't want to make stretch marks. But I could not fight the urge. At one point I just didn't care and scratched alllllll day long. Eventually they turned into little bumps and created some serious stretch marks :( but I noticed that the bumps were spreading all over my body. I wish I still had the picture on my phone so I could show you guys! It was so insane. All over my legs, arms, back of my hands, stomach and had even started up my neck! The itch was uncontrollable. You know when you get an itch and you scratch it and its like instant gratification? Yeah. This was nothing like that. I would be up crying in the middle of the night itching my skin that could not be satisfied. I went to the doctors and they could not believe what they were seeing. At one point 3 doctors were in the room just staring at me and a one hour appointment turned into an all day event. I ended up having PUPPPS. Which is basically an allergic reaction to PREGNANCY. Seriously? I've never had one allergy in my life!
So yeah, let's just hope this goes smoother.
My initial reaction? I do NOT want to do this again. Embarrassing to say but I still haven't lost the weight from my first one who is 15 months old. "/ I dread stepping on the scale at the doctors and inevitably gaining MORE weight. My second thought? Seriously? My daughter just started walking, she eats real people food, no bottle, and sleeps through the night... Why would we want to disturb this? We got a good thing going on. :)
Third thought? im a little sad that its not just gonna be me and Rae anymore. I want her to always feel loved and cared for and i would never want to make her feel like shes not the center of our attention anymore. I will have to give her my undivided attention for the next 10 months and then work extra hard to make sure she always feels important and loved. she'll be a great big sissy. Fourth thought? I believe that God has a plan and a timing for everything and although I'm still trying to get used to the fact that we're having another baby I know that this is Gods will and that he will supply all of our needs!

Good night my friends.
Until next time

Monday, November 5, 2012

A father?

Tonight as I was scrolling through good ol' Facebook I came upon a status update that really struck a nerve with me. As I am reading this girls update about how every little girl deserves a daddy to love and protect them and to call them his princess but how she had never had that, in fact her dad did the opposite, made her feel unsafe and was always commenting about her weight. My heart literally ached while reading this.

It is true. For a little girl, a daddy is crucial to how she will grow up and how she will feel about herself. Not only that but a daddy should set the tone for how any other man in her future should treat her.

I am utterly and undeservingly blessed with a dad who came home from work and played with my sister and I. Who kissed us and hugged us. Who coached our softball teams. Who even (and I found this out way later in life) delayed a house payment in order to pay for the sport that I was in that required traveling. You may say I was spoiled (and believe me I've been called that before) but my parents did everything in their power to create a life of love and stableness for my sister and myself. And I could never thank them enough.

In less than a month I will be 25 and I still don't understand why God gave me a devoted father and loving mother (I certainly did nothing to deserve it) but I'm eternally grateful that he did.

But my heart aches for all the little and even old girls/woman out there who have pathetic "dads" and working with teenagers I've heard it all. Rape, abandonment, abuse, addicts, work-a-holics... You name it I've heard the story.

To all the dads out there,

Be your kids number one fan. Besides God and your wife don't put ANYTHING or ANYONE in front of them. Even after a long day of work and all you want to do is relax... Spend TIME with them. You can never over use "I love you." When your kid talks to you, listen. Be your kids hero. And it will mold them into who they will become. In a world full of dead beat dads be the example.

To all the unfathered girls,

I'm so sorry that you got the short end of the stick. I'm sorry that you didn't have someone to protect you. I'm sorry that you never had someone say to you that you mean the world to them. I'm sorry that you never had a dad that called you his princess. Im so terrible sorry that a man who was supposed to be your hero left a void in your heart. And while I realize that nothing can ever change that, you should realize that even though your earthly father was/is a coward, you have a Heavenly Father that loves you more than even you can fathom. His love is never ending and there is NOTHING you can do to take his love away. He died for you. He is the king which makes you the princess. If you allow him he can fill the emptiness in your heart and give you a joy that you've never know before. He watches over you and protects you. Just give him a chance!

Until next time